Junior high and the transition to high school were SUPER hard years. Not only did I have major issues with friends, but I found myself alone in the house after my siblings moved away to college. And, let’s face it, my parent didn’t always communicate that well (then again, not many do, right?). Lonely, afraid, insecure, and doubtful about who I was, I was certain of one thing…I did not like feeling the way I did. To find comfort, I found running. I loved to run. I could escape everyone, I could get out my frustrations, and thankfully, I found a little praise for my efforts. Still, as relationships around me continued to shake, I became more obsessed with controlling my life. This need for control led to an obsession with running and a reduction in food intake. My mom and I were close, and I am sure she was FREAKING out at the time. Still, she loved me the best she could and had a steadfast way of reminding me that I was valued and that I was good and love-able no matter what anyone did or said. She encouraged me in my running, while still pushing me to balance my life around lots of things. It wasn’t until later in life that I began to understand the impact that running really had on my life. It became my shield and my sword, to both serve as a protector and a way to strike out against life. Today, I love myself whether I run or not. I don’t ever step on the scale. Mostly, I have just really learned how to feel great about my body just the way it is. I don’t have to use or abuse it or food or activity of any kind to make myself feel OK.

And that feels incredible. It is what drives me to share this feeling with others.